There's an app for that....

Overheard at Piccadilly Station:

1. How was your Mum doing?
2. Oh my God I was so embarrassed! Have you seen that app where it reads out your texts when you're driving?
1. Ah yeah
2. Mum was in the passenger seat, just suddenly heard 'bing - message from ****** alright big boobs, what time you home later? I'm in the mood if you fancy a quickie before the footie later!'
1. Haha, what did your Mum say?
2. She asked who was playing!

It's not Mozart

Overheard in a South Manchester Office:

1. What's happened to Gaydio!? Put Real Radio on instead,  It used to be really poppy poppy now it's all bangy bangy!
2. Your musical knowledge never ceases to amaze me.....

Enjoy Your Journey

Overheard at Cornbrook Metrolink

1. Got my new Season Ticket for the Met yesterday
2. Already I can tell this is going to be a thrilling story!
1. Shut Up! Got my confirmation saying 'We hope you enjoy using your season ticket'
2. Nothing I enjoy more, sounds thrilling, especially being sandwiched between can't wash won't wash at 8 o'clock in the morning
1. You don't mean me right!?

Ouch!

Overheard outside a South Manchester Office:

1. You look knackered, did you run to work again?
2. Yep, only a month and bit til the Great Manchester Run
1. Better you than me, mate
2. I'm telling you, that top they gave me, nearly exfoliated off my nipples this morning!

Chorlton vs Didsbury (the old debate!)

Overheard at Cornbrook Metrolink:

1. You coming out tonight?
2. Maybe, where you off to?
1. Ah maybe a couple of bars in Chorlton
2. I ****ing hate Chorlton, can't stand the place
1. Why!? Chorlton's amazing, I lived there for ages
2. It just wants to think it's Didsbury, full of pretencious people, that awful pub near the four banks where everyone's dressed for the gym and you know they aren't going, too many takeaways, bloody Morrisons, hate it, hate it!
1. Seriously?! And Chorlton is so much nicer than Didsbury
2. Are you ****ing kidding me! Didsbury's nice, Chorlton just think's it's Didsbury, and the name Chortlon-cum-Hardy - it's a ****ing joke
1. Chorlton is so much nicer
2. No it really isn't, do you remember that crappy Hugh Grant Film - About a Boy?
1. Yeah
2. Well Hugh Grant would live in Didsbury, and that tree ****ing hugging mother would be over in Chorlton, take that as an analogy, she'd be right at home
1. Take it that's a no then

Never, Ever, Ever

Overheard in a South Manchester Office:

1. You've just missed Taylor Swift
2. On the Radio!?
1. No No she was actually here, thinking of getting a new IT contract
2. Hmph!

Tickets Please...

Overheard at St. Peters Square Metrolink:

1. Have you got a ticket?
2. No there's no point, they never check
1. Seriously, they hardly ever do but when they do it's like the Gestapo!